“Mountains are only a problem when they are bigger than you. You should develop yourself so much that you become bigger than the mountains you face.”
– Idowu Koyenikan
This one is hard to write.
We are leaving our dream home in the mountains to move back to the city of Denver. I’m trying to keep a positive outlook, as it was not exactly my choice to leave. There is too much of a story to recap in this post, but this has been a difficult transition. When you’ve decided on a place to call home, invested your love and energy into making the space your own, and really root down…then have it ripped from your hands, it is very unsettling.
So, now, the practice of acceptance begins. Accepting that the space you thought was right for you, didn’t turn out to be right. Accepting the fact that nothing is forever…and for some reason, this home was only to be enjoyed by us for one year. Accepting the challenges that came with moving there, living there, and moving away from there and knowing that each step in this process is necessary. It’s been a challenge for me to meet this situation with acceptance and understanding. At first I was hurt, and then I was angry, then came indifference. Indifference towards my health, my relationships, my work, and my living space as we finish out our last few days. Resentment is another emotion that came up. I found myself unable to even appreciate the beauty I was seeing all around me from day to day. Music didn’t sound the same, food didn’t taste good, I didn’t feel like cooking or moving my body. I was basically on autopilot…floating through my life, unable to recall how I got from one place to the next, but just that I had arrived there somehow. I got caught up on all the things I was upset about with my life instead of all the things I have to be thankful for. As you might have guessed, this isn’t the healthiest cycle to find yourself stuck in.
Instead, I began to think of all the things I am thankful for. I am thankful that I got to enjoy my first home with my partner for a year. I am thankful that I came home every day with gratitude for the space. I am thankful my parents and some of my nieces and nephews got to come experience our little mountain oasis with us. I am thankful we have somewhere to go next. I am thankful to be out of an unsavory business partnership, and to be closer to town so I can be more involved with a community. I am thankful for new business ventures, and for the way uncomfortable situations have pushed me to reach for the things I deserve. I know that there is a reason for all of this transition, and that eventually I will look back and understand why this all had to happen in exactly this way.
Right now, all I can do is keep pushing forward. My focus is on my growth. What lessons can I take from all of this? How can I improve? Where can I grow? Which patterns can I let go of that no longer serve me? Which opportunities can be seized here? I’m looking forward to what the future has in store…and will continue to roll with the punches, adapting to life instead of being a victim of it. With change comes new opportunity, and each day is a chance to completely turn your world around. How will you play the cards you’ve been dealt?